Path to Rosen
On March 31st 2008 I was playing in a concert at the Barbican Centre with the BBC Symphony Orchestra, marking what I then thought would be the start of a year’s sabbatical from my position as Co-Principal clarinet in the orchestra. I had been privileged enough to have been a member of the orchestra for fifteen years, sitting amongst and playing with the most wonderful colleagues — both as people and musicians.
After becoming a mother to twin sons in 2002, I found over the next few years that something in both my work and family life had to give, and I made a request to take a sabbatical to step out of the orchestra for one year in order to take concentrated time out with my family. Incredibly, and very generously, my request was granted.
I had not forseen the enormous impact that taking this time out would have on my home and life. Indeed it became apparent very soon that family life was immeasurably enhanced. So much so that, after a long internal debate, I decided that I should resign, six months into the sabbatical.
I still miss my colleagues very, very much. And the ebb and flow of life that accompanies the orchestra. And the indescribable highs that you get in the middle of a concert, right at the core and intensity of the music. But for twenty whole months I had surprised myself by putting the clarinet away completely, for the first break (that had not been a holiday) for thirty-five years. More recently, I have returned to the clarinet, this time refreshed and relieved to find it is still very much an integral part of me.
In the meantime, I had been intrigued increasingly by a therapy called Rosen Method Bodywork. (A really good website to find out more is the Rosen Method Bodywork UK site, which goes into far greater detail than I will for now).
To describe it as pithily as I can, Rosen Method is based on the findings of ninety-six year old physiotherapist Marion Rosen : that a person’s experiences and emotions can lead, over the years, to chronic physical ‘holding ‘ patterns triggered by muscle tension and contraction. Those feelings and experiences are physically stored in our bodies, although we may no longer be consciously aware of them. Through gentle touch and verbal support, a Rosen therapist can help a client find profound relaxation, alongside awareness of the hidden sources of holding. With awareness comes a key for new possibilities of being.
It had always intrigued me in the orchestra why some musicians would suffer from severe postural problems, sometimes to the extent that they would have to take time off work, and yet others playing the same instrument would not.
I decided to follow the modules of training, and each time I became more and more curious about it, and impressed with the amazing and transformative work that I was seeing before me.
The UK school is relatively new to the Rosen world (set up around six years ago by Rosen Method practitioners and teachers Annabelle Apsion and Ingrid Maria Nordgren). Whereas in Scandinavia there are hundreds of Rosen Practitioners, in the UK there are three as far as I know. Most of the next phase of interns is due to qualify in about a year, after what will have been around five years of training. I am in the next phase of new ‘interns’, and really excited to be in this ‘early’ phase of the UK school. The possibilities here are endless. The teachers here and from abroad who support the school in its development are truly inspired and inspiring, and there is a real feeling of a spark igniting.
I am getting carried away and digress.
At the end of March of this year, I played with some old colleagues from the BBC Symphony. One of my friends told me about an amazing sounding fund which she had read about, the Katherine McGillivray Get A Life Fund. Knowing me, she thought it was just the thing for me to apply to. The deadline was in a couple of weeks, and interviews were at the beginning of April. Until this stage I had funded my training on the Rosen course with some savings, and, going all out for it, the sale of two instruments that I had not played as much in the past twenty years as they had deserved. They had gone to good homes where they were now being played daily and being well and truly loved, a good outcome for all of us. But now, reaching the stage where I was soon to become a Rosen Method ‘Intern’, I had run out of money before the prospect of another two years minimum training, and with no salary coming in!
As an Intern, one is able to give Rosen sessions and charge at a nominal rate, and in the process build up the required 350 client hours. These hours, in theory, will provide the finance (roughly £3,000) for my studies, including numerous supervisions and personal sessions. However, I anticipated a slow start to getting clients (since no-one I have spoken to has ever heard of the Rosen Method), and I was so enthused by this stage that I really wanted to go full steam ahead.
I didn’t really fit the Get A Life Fund profile, I thought. Although I had been a professional musician for twenty-five years, I had stopped playing completely for twenty months, and I was not sure how my playing life was going to figure next, or if I was to go back to playing at all. (I now realise I will never really stop.) The Get A Life Fund was for professional musicians, taking time out and eventually going back. But what I did see was that the Rosen Method could fulfil a real need amongst musicians, amongst people in general, and I really loved the idea and the feeling I received about the heart of the fund.
Thus, expecting a big no, I wrote in anyway.
I could not believe it when they wrote to say I would be considered, and would I come for interview!!!?
The day of the interview arrived. One of my seven year old twins had been very badly sick for nearly two weeks solid, my husband was working, and no child-care was in place suitable for a sick little boy. I hadn’t had time to prepare in writing my financial proposal, and my printer had bust.
And then suddenly, my husband was able to hand over his work to someone else and was able to look after our son, my friend offered for me to type up and print my proposal at her place, I was free to go. No excuses! On the way, as if in a dream, my radio blared out all my Desert Island Discs (Sibelius, deep, intense and brooding!), I drove past my old place of work, Maida Vale Studios, and arrived at the interview at Janet Craxton’s Studios, a place with both very uncomfortable and happy memories of clarinet auditions, both successful and not.
To greet me, it turned out, were Katherine’s neighbours, so very welcoming. And then, up the stairs to the attic room and suddenly a room full of people facing me, and my sharp gulp of breath!
Every one on the panel could not have made me feel more comfortable or at home, and I could not get over the fact that they seemed, very patiently, to want to hear more and more about the Rosen Method, and there seemed no stopping me talking about it in my enthusiasm! I felt very listened to.
What an amazing thing, that a few days later I received a phone call from Alison McGillivray, to say that the Get A Life Fund had given me £5000 to support my training, more than I ever dreamt of! I am still glowing!
I am now able to use this to pay for my training over the next two years, and to help me provide the possibility for free taster sessions for musicians, and, as a real bonus, to go to some additional intensive training modules, a real luxury to soak up the teaching. And I have already booked my place on the October Rosen International Congress (the first of its kind in the UK) thanks entirely to the fund. I passed to Internship stage in June, and my parents told me — just a couple of days ago — that I am listed as an ‘Intern’ on the Rosen Method UK website. So I am really happy that musicians who want to give a session a try can make contact through that. The Internship course itself will begin in September, and now I am in the process of building up the required 350 client hours. So far, I am really pleased to say, I have some loyal returning clients who were already friends, but a tiny and steady trickle of new clients is evolving. I would love it if through the fund musicians would be able to come, but with the generosity of the fund I see that whatever happens, they have given me this amazing chance and support.
The Get a Life Fund has given me such an amazing boost in terms of support, in every conceivable way, that I don’t think they will ever know how important that has been for me. I feel truly lucky, grateful, and very, very honoured.
I really look forward to this new ‘blogging’ that I have been introduced to, and the chance it gives me to give news about the funding they have given me. Thank you, wholeheartedly, Katherine McGillivray’s Get A Life Fund.
Posted by Damaris on July 18th, 2010.
